Saturday, April 21, 2007
To Breed or not to Breed...
That is the question. Now that Fetus Fever has hit the majority of people I know that are my age, I find myself contemplating children. Not wanting, mind you, but contemplating. For those of you I have had this conversation with, you may now disregard the rest of this post if you choose. I am so ecstatic for all of you who are having babies and have babies. And goodness knows, I love to cuddle up with the Johns twins, chase Campbell Sciortino, and keep up with all the other babies/toddlers I don't get to see that often! But, is motherhood for me? I am usually a follower of those around me. Trendy jeans, fabulous shoes, divine sundresses, painting a room in my house red...are examples of things that I might have seen on someone else and then done myself. But children are a completely different story. I love to think about names that Andy and I might name our children, but if I take 10 seconds actually thinking about having a real one, I don't feel ready. Now, I know I have only been married a little over a year and a half, and know that I don't want a child this instant, but I am beginning to think I may never want to have children. I know that everyone that has children 110% agrees that they are the greatest thing that could have ever happened in ones life--but is raising kids for everyone? For some reason, I am feeling like Carrie Bradshaw right now. Don't get me wrong, I am 85% sure that I want to have kids one of these days, but what if I never get that "maternal instinct" telling me to preheat my oven for one of those buns? Well, I must be off, I'm supposed to be cleaning my house right now, and I get to thinking a little too hard. Just some food for thought!
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11 comments:
It is a big big big big life-changing decision. I think it's good that you are thinking so hard about it....that is the problem with a lot of people. They just do it (I guess in all senses of the word=) but don't give thought to the future. I guess the most important thing is to PRAY and God will give you peace to know if or when is the right time for you and Andy!
bethany, don't you worry. you are not in any hurry to make any decisions. you've got your new career going, which you love, and God is working through you in a ton of ways already. and if you and andy do decide to become parents, you will KNOW it's right.
If it makes you feel any better, I have the exact same thoughts all the time. No maternal urge has hit me yet. I stress about it too, but I just have to hope that someday it will all be clear. Good to see you at Whit's wedding, I wish we had gotten to talk more.
Leslie Poole Ware
i think your thoughts are very normal, plus we're still very young. and...if you decide not to have kids there are always dogs. i think callie needs a sister!
Okay, so here some thoughts from the still single one that won't commit to even the opposite sex. =) I think you've got plenty of time. I don't plan to have kids till I'm 35ish. =) And my BFF (remember Stephanie) does not see kids in her near future (married 2 yrs.). It's okay! And I really don't think kids are for everyone. Great aunts and uncles out there. Do you know (fun fact for you)- neither one of our school counselors have kids?! They just have about 1600 to look out for. =)
Hey Beefy! I can tell you that a lot of that is probably from working with kids all day, too. I always said that working with kids all day and neices and nephews that you LOVE but are so ready to turn over to their mommy and daddy was the best birth control! :) Nate and I weren't ready for a long time, and I'm SO glad we waited until we were ready... we have LOVED traveling, running out to a late movie, doing all sorts of things that you should be doing when your young and can't do with little ones around! We actually felt an urge to go to the next stage in life, which is wierd and unexplainable, but it will happen if/when you guys are ready. Don't push it and enjoy your doggie! Love you and sorry for the long post!! :)
Yes I agree, so totally normal. The Lord will make you ready if and/or when it's time! I love you. Hey, how do you put links to other people's pages on your page like Jillina did? I'm so new to this whole blogging thing. :)
Don't succumb to the pressure or the feeling you are the "only one without kids." Don't get me wrong, having Will has been the greatest thing ever in our lives, but I really think you should enjoy being married and doing things married without children people do! Michael and I waited 5 years and I am so glad! You never get that time back to be just you and your man! Anyway, that is just my two cents on the subject! Hope you are doing well!!!
Ok so my mom read this blog of yours this weekend and was laughing so hard she was crying. Especially at the "preheat my oven for one of those buns" HA!
I am older than you, and I'm still not ready either. I get that feeling that I'm supposed to be ready sometimes, but I know God will let us know if and when it's time. Loved your post though! It hit close to home.
dont worry im sure mom doesnt want any grandkids.....yeah right!!! but hey dont worry cause im gonna have about 4 so they'll be plenty of them around!!!...i think you are thinking about this the right way...take your time and always remember you could have a little devil of a son like your little brother....( But turns out great of course!!)
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